last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i barfeds in our rink
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
