I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
