i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
