I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
