he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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