I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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