HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Randomize
