i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
