I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
