Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you traded sex for a burrito?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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