I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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