I wanna passion pit in your ass
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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