listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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