I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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