just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
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