You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
