Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
