dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
