She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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