You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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