So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
