You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I wish i was in the wii world.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
