Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Let's get the cat blown out
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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