Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
