Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
