i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
