Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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