you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
