Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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