He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize