Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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