At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
