i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
