He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I think my fart just growled at me.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
