I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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