So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Randomize
