She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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