i just google imaged poop.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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