Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
