So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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