come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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