I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
