Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
