but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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