You're my little dorito
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
