yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
