I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
