Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
