i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
