the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
