He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
